Whenever I talk to my mother
or both of my parents
about the things I wanna do in life
They would ask me, with a tone or worry
or disappointment they would ask
“Aaron, will the money be enough?”
They then tell me to go study
And when I don’t
They start to shake and tremble in fear as if
the sky is falling down
as if it’s the end of the world.
They then tell me, “if you don’t study hard,
you won’t secure your future,
you can’t live your life,
you won’t get a job,
you can’t find a wife…”
and the list goes on…
But to me, it’s more like they’re saying:
“Oh no! Aaron’s not studying
we’re all gonna die!” or
“The world’s gonna end, oh no!”
“Aaron, you’re gonna go to hell if you don’t study”
“Don’t study and you’ll bring shame to the family”
and things like that.
Because to them,
Salvation is found in “success”
Salvation is found in money
Salvation is found in the bread you bring home,
in the food we put on the table
Salvation is found in the many A’s your
sons and daughters get in the many exams
he or she has to stress for so hard
Salvation is found in how much we make for a living,
that is, in essence, it is found in money.
It is not found, to them
Salvation is not found
In how well you strum your guitar
or how well you are with words
or how gracefully you dance.
Salvation is not found
in how much time you waste
on the worries and anxieties
that comes to mind rather than studying
Because salvation to them,
is anything but these
is anything but trusting in a Higher Power
is anything but “letting it be”
Because salvation to them
is nothing more
but human effort
and making money.
But honestly tell me,
That even with
all this “salvation”
How many of us are actually
saved, no! (Let me rephrase that)
How many of us actually feel SAFE?
Because salvation to me, however
is not in these
but to me,
Salvation is life
Salvation is love
Salvation is forgiveness and trust
Trust in the things we cannot see
Hope for the things we do not know
Salvation is in art, in literature
Salvation is in the poems
in the writings of the Ancients
in the words of the Prophets,
the Saints, the Martyrs
Salvation is in poetry
And poetry speaks everything
about life, about love
about forgiveness, hope and trust.
It speaks life.
And in this life, in this love
I am saved.
I feel safe, I feel secure
I feel alive.
I am found.
Aaron J. Patrick, KL