Atuk was a bad man,
He split his family, lost his money
He drank the dark tearful sorrows away,
As he walked he abused,
The syahadah he refused,
He was a bad, violent, angry dark man.
He made people cry, ‘specially his wife,
As he stormed through life, he did it his way.
Make no mistake, he loved them.
In his own bad selfish way, he loved them.
His rough weaknesses distorted that love,
Beer upon beer, drinking made it curve,
and bend and warp and coiled,
His accidental failures destroyed,
decimating every life that was in
proximity! his life murdered plenty
This wasn’t just love, this was a family
and that success never comes easily,
Nobody finds that they can live happily
ever after; like the themes of Kafka
Family conflicts with love,
Love is a constant deed,
A family needs, a father must feed,
A father creates; a father, he failed.
Love? Love is a feeling, an intention,
The warm rocking of the waves, they push you
The gentle breeze; it caresses you too,
Love is romantic, it is a concept
Life has other plans for this dreadful man
Atuk gave me my first book, you must know this
He defended me against the rest of
my angry, confused, frowning family
Like an unused broken facsimile
He couldn’t stop, He never stopped.
Those long talks at the corner of the bed
Colored me long after; now I get it
he would’ve smiled at me once I got it
He would’ve smiled that sweet and toothless smile
Through the Benson & Hedges fog he smiled,
The bad man in his tattered kain pelikat
and that strong mixture of Old Spice and sweat
He was a charmer; handsome when he smiled
Man with a secret life, an angry wife,
Separated children, He smiled;
even when he was filled with strife
Never for me, I hope
Coz When he left I moped,
My mind on dope,
I lost that hope.
Atuk was a bad man, so it seemed
He beat, He screamed, He troubled and he dreamed
He failed and he broke until he was broke,
He drank He cursed He left
He left God Damn This Man He left
He comforts He talks He gave me chocolates
He gave me books he gave some proper words.
This horrible rojak that I concoct,
Proof that words are all I have ever got,
And the bad man with that smooth toothless smile ,
He gave these words to me
He was kind only to me,
The bad man; He loved me,
The bad man; He really truly loved ME
No matter where you are, handsome bad man,
Know that I love you, man
Oh, charming bad man with the toothless smile,
Let’s have a smoke together, you and me,
We’ll chat the night away
For the last and first time, we’ll chat and smoke.
Goodnight, bad man, Till we meet again, Tok.