The Bad Man

Atuk was a bad man,

He split his family, lost his money

He drank the dark tearful sorrows away,

As he walked he abused,

The syahadah he refused,

He was a bad, violent, angry dark man.

He made people cry, ‘specially his wife,

As he stormed through life, he did it his way.

Make no mistake, he loved them.

In his own bad selfish way, he loved them.

His rough weaknesses distorted that love,

Beer upon beer, drinking made it curve,

and bend and warp and coiled,

His accidental failures destroyed,

decimating every life that was in

proximity! his life murdered plenty

This wasn’t just love, this was a family

and that success never comes easily,

Nobody finds that they can live happily

ever after; like the themes of Kafka

Family conflicts with love,

Love is a constant deed,

A family needs, a father must feed,

A father creates; a father, he failed.
Love? Love is a feeling, an intention,

The warm rocking of the waves, they push you

The gentle breeze; it caresses you too,

Love is romantic, it is a concept

Life has other plans for this dreadful man

Atuk gave me my first book, you must know this

He defended me against the rest of

my angry, confused, frowning family

Like an unused broken facsimile

He couldn’t stop, He never stopped.

Those long talks at the corner of the bed

Colored me long after; now I get it

he would’ve smiled at me once I got it

He would’ve smiled that sweet and toothless smile

Through the Benson & Hedges fog he smiled,

The bad man in his tattered kain pelikat

and that strong mixture of Old Spice and sweat

He was a charmer; handsome when he smiled

Man with a secret life, an angry wife,

Separated children, He smiled;

even when he was filled with strife

Never for me, I hope

Coz When he left I moped,

My mind on dope,

I lost that hope.

Atuk was a bad man, so it seemed

He beat, He screamed, He troubled and he dreamed

He failed and he broke until he was broke,

He drank He cursed He left

He left God Damn This Man He left

He comforts He talks He gave me chocolates

He gave me books he gave some proper words.

This horrible rojak that I concoct,

Proof that words are all I have ever got,

And the bad man with that smooth toothless smile ,

He gave these words to me

He was kind only to me,

The bad man; He loved me,

The bad man; He really truly loved ME

No matter where you are, handsome bad man,

Know that I love you, man

Oh, charming bad man with the toothless smile,

Let’s have a smoke together, you and me,

We’ll chat the night away

For the last and first time, we’ll chat and smoke.

Goodnight, bad man, Till we meet again, Tok.


AminTheRanter, Selangor.

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